Tuesday, 20 April 2010

My journey through life....Lessons learned

Life is a journey, we walk through, and as I tread along this path called life...I cant help but think how far along I have come...

you see, somewhere down this road I trek, I lost my innocence, my head, my pride and my way but though I've lost a lot, I have gained a multitude of wisdom...I can certainly say, am not only older, am also wiser.

Through both my experiences and those of people close to me; I have gained virtues. Yes, I have learnt from other peoples experiences as well for the simple reason that I cant live long enough to go through them all by myself....Below I share just a few of the lessons I've learnt; and learnt well........

1- From being ignored by my mum while throwing tantrums as a child; I've learnt INDEPENDENCE.

2-From my ability to overcome all the obstacles I've faced both in my childhood and my youth; I've gained DETERMINATION

3- From being bullied as a child by my big bro (jika); i have become STRONGWILLED.

4-From my dad refusing to take me out of a school i hated just because i hated the lifestyle I've lerant PERSEVERANCE.

5- From my parents still putting up with me even after the many times I've let them down; I've learnt TOLERANCE.

6- From my various education backgrounds; i have become ARTICULATE.

7- From those friends of mine who still accepted me with all my flaws even when they had a choice to walk away, I've learnt UN-CONDITIONAL LOVE

8- From always being daddy's little girl even when am a whole lot older and him always having my back; I've learnt COMPASSION.

9- From being a god-mother 2 my very demanding and annoying nieces ; I've become PATIENT.

10- From my best friends never ending generosity towards me; I've learnt KINDNESS.

11-From learning to accept my mistakes and make an effort to correct them ; I have acquired HUMILITY.

12- From my nieces innocence and total failure 2 hide the truth; I've learnt HONESTY.

13- From realizing that not everyone is as fortunate a I am; I've learnt GRATITUDE.

14- From my father's ability to remain calm in when everything seems to be falling apart; I've learnt SERENITY.

15- From discovering my hidden strengths through my weaknesses; I've gained HOPE.

16- From my parents loyalty towards each other in all situations for 35yrs; I've learnt FAITHFULNESS.

17-From facing betrayal from some Lovers, friends and family; I've learnt FORGIVENESS and gained RECONCILIATION.

18- From my dad's constant refusal to take bribes despite all the pressure and temptations; I've learnt INTEGRITY.

19- From treating my negative situations as blessings in disguise; I've gained SUCCESS.

20- From experiencing failed relationships I've learned that not all that glitters is gold and gained OBJECTIVITY.

21- From having constant arguments with my parents during my adolescence; I've become OPINIONATED.

22- From my brother's tragic death, I've learnt to appreciate the gift of LIFE.

23- From my parents putting aside their needs just so I can have everything I want selflessly; I've learnt SACRIFICE.

24- From my kid sister never being able to rat me out even wen put under pressure, I've learnt LOYALTY.

25- From being frustrated with my former Boss that I decided to walk to the department head to have him change my duties, I've discovered my inner strengths and learnt that facing my fears is all it takes to get me to my DESTINY

I haven't lived long, so I cant really brag but, the more I live the more I learn because life itself is a lesson...Looking back at my journey so far, I realize that I regret not the things I did, but rather those that I didn't do, simply because from every experience, good or bad, came a worthwhile lesson at the end and so I have certainly not just grown older but also become wiser, I can definitely say am a better person today than I was yesterday.

I also discovered that the things you don't say hurt you more than those you say because in the end, the truth always sets u free, so by all means say what you want to say, do what you want to do, be what you want to be, go where you want to go, reach for the stars and climb every mountain, because the sky is no longer the limit, so reach for the sun and follow your heart's desire.

Don't be afraid to live, take chances, adventure because 10yrs from now, when you look back you'll see that you regret more the things you didn't do than those you did.

I must admit that there have been a number of broken promises and shattered dreams or "dark clouds" in my life , but then with them came silver linings that i wouldn't trade for anything in this world!!!!

I have gained tolerance and learnt to accept people as they are, understanding that we are not all the same, and are not all equal. Some need more patience than others but that is okay, because in that mystery lies the beauty of life.

If you believe you can, you probably can, but if you believe you cant, you most assuredly wont because " belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad".....

I wont say am perfect.. because am not...but keep in mind that life isn't about being perfect, rather its about accepting the flaws, so we keep loving, caring, giving, sharing and hoping that all will be well because in the end, its not the years in your life that count, NO.....its the life in your years!!!!!!!!

Be inspired..........stay blessed.......

Tanya Love

My favourite quotes....

"It's never been easy for me / To find words to go along with a melody / But this time there's actually something on my mind / So please forgive these few brief awkward lines / Ever since I met you my life is changed / It's more than just my furniture you've rearranged / I was living in the past / But somehow you've brought me back / And I haven't felt this way / Since before Frankie said "Relax" / And though I know / Based on my track record / I might not seem like the safest bet / All I'm asking you / Is don't write me off just yet / For years I've been telling myself the same old stories / That I was happy to live off my so-called former glories / But you've given me a reason / To take another chance / Now I need you / Despite the fact that you've killed all my plants / And though I know / I've already blown more chances / Than anyone should ever get / All I'm asking you / Is don't write me off just yet. " from the movie music and lyrics

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." - Rita Mae Brown.

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry.
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." - Groucho Marx.

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." - Charles Lamb.
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti.

I can see clearly now, the brain has gone"

Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.

- Tyron Edwards

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Talent is what you possess; genius is what possesses you.

- Malcolm Cowley

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

- Robert F Kennedy

It is not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.

- John Wooden

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

- Nelson Mandela

He who angers you conquers you.

- Elizabeth Kenny

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

- Mahatma Gandhi

The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.

- Winston Churchill

Make hay while the sun shines

He that knows nothing, doubts nothing

To be or not to be - that is the question.

William Shakespeare quote

And this above all unto thine own self be true and it shall follow as the day the night - thou can'st not then be false to any man.

William Shakespeare quote

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

William Shakespeare quote

When trouble comes, they come not in single spies but in batallions.

William Shakespeare quote

The course of true love never did run smooth - a Midsummer's nights dream

William Shakespeare quote

What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet (Romeo and Juliet)

William Shakespeare quote

Patch grief with proverbs

William Shakespeare quote

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage

William Shakespeare quote

I absolutely believe in the power of tithing and giving back. My own experience about all the blessings I've had in my life is that the more I give away, the more that comes back. That is the way life works, and that is the way energy works.

Ken Blanchard

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children!

King Edward VIII
compiled by katsy

Monday, 19 April 2010

A time for everything....

For everything there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate,

A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Tanya Love...

choosing a life partner....

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: 'We're in love.' I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'. You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.


Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2) You can grow apart. Fifty percent (50%) of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! The BOTTOM LINE -- MARRY SOMEONE WHO WANTS THE SAME THING!!!!!


Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust ( i.e., trust that I won't get 'punished' or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.)

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.


Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions: Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing'. So ask about your Significant Other...What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not some one whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.


How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.


Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to 'improve' them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another Perspective....

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you..

Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye'. Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life,' you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or be responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.








7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)




If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace it. Remember:

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keep You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing

All i wanted was you.......

They say memories are golden...well maybe that is true....

but i never wanted memories...i only wanted you

a million times i needed you, a million times i cried....

if love alone could have saved you...you never would have died....

in life i loved you dearly...in death i love u still

in my heart you hold a place...no one else could ever fill

if tears could build a stairway...and heartache made a lane

i'd wald the path to heaven...and bring you back again...

our family chain is broken ...and nothing seems the same

but as God calls us one by one...the chain will link again....

till we meet again...

Monday, 12 April 2010

My Frustrations.........

Has anyone noticed that too many young people are dying these days? We have lost 4 would be future leaders of this country in just the past 4 weeks and frankly speaking its apalling if not devastating.The deaths are too many, well atleast in Uganda they are and i cant help but be bothered....Why? you may wonder...well the answer is simple....I am my brother's keeper!
So anyway, i am stressed beyond measure about all these mysterious deaths and i think something needs to be done and done fast, don't know what exactly but for now all i can do is PRAY for my nation, for the young generation and the world at large so that God will have mercy on us and deliver us from our wicked and evil ways....
I am seriously beginning to think its a curse or something or God's way of telling us something...that we need to turn from our evil ways and get back to him...Its time to repent people....
Think about it...the level of immorality in our country is immeasurable.
All our generation seems to think about is drugs,alcohol,money and indulging in sexual immorality, even as some of you read this i know that you might be offended but it is high time some one spoke up!
The truth is the world has gone astray and we need God's devine intervention. Our society can no longer protect us, children are being molested everyday,women are being raped and battered every day,men are murdered every day,men are marrying men and women marrying women and we are not allowed to talk about this whole homosexuality issue because it is offensive to human rights. And so we have decided to compromise our integrity, our principles, our values and our morals all because we are afraid of public opinion and its much easier and convenient to do so.
This is wrong and quite frankly its disgusting. Why is it wrong? i'll tell you why its wrong because just because its the "trendy" thing to do and every one is doing it doesnt make it right!
We have compromised  so much of our selves and lost our heads in the process...We have become speculators...we speculate as evil eats up our society and do nothing about it...we fight for "human rights" yet we dont have the right to express ourselves out of fear. We claim independence but our opinion on homosexuality as a country depends on the donors...ironic isn't it? we say one thing and do the other...always contradicting our selves, bending the rules so they can suit us, we copy every thing that the westen society does, what is funny though is that we don't copy the good things about the western culture...no; we only adopt that which will degrade our morals and eat up our society even further and its sad...so sad that i weep for the future generation...what kind of world have we created for them...what kind of examples are we setting....that we have freedom to do as we please without thinking about the consequences? Some of our actions have far reaching consequences though we might not realise it now but in time we will and if we don't turn from our evil ways we will all perish and nothing good will come of us because our wickedness will catch up with us.So it is high time we rose up and did something about it. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year but starting now, TODAY! Stop complaining about how the government has failed us, our leaders have failed us,bla bla bla and ask yourself what have I done to make this world a better place?...if not for you, for the future generation. WHAT HAVE U DONE? that's right, nothing; so stop complaining and nagging and do something to better this world..Remeber If u don't, no one else will...it begins with you! So take the initiative..

Kateeba Tanya