Monday, 6 May 2013

R.E.S.P.E.C.T do you know what that means?

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

I have zero tolerance for disrespect, but lately I have come to the realization that I sometimes let people get away with disrespecting me. This might be as shocking to you as it was to me, but I decided to evaluate myself. What is it about me that makes people think they can disrespect me and get away with it? I asked myself. The most recent form of disrespect was this Guy who flat out said to me "Diane, I have a girlfriend, but I want to date you" and when I said I don't date guys with extra luggage, he added "I know I have baggage, but I really like you and I really want to be with you, so I thought you would make an exception" There we go again with assumptions. Why do Men assume that all women are the same and will take their rubbish?
To some ladies this might have been
been flattering, but I have never felt more violated and disrespected in my life. That the thought would even cross his mind, completely surpasses my understanding. So while I was rambling on about his disrespect, to a certain male friend, He said to me " maybe you gave him that impression about you", I know, I was just as furious as you can imagine and just as I was about to descend on him with my wrath, I paused a little in my mind, to process if I had done anything to encourage such preposterous behavior, and maybe I did without realizing it but still,  I like to think of myself as a Woman of honor; But honestly speaking being honorable in this sinful and disastrous world is more challenging than convincing a Muhima to tithe in cows. 
 When looking at what it means to be a "Woman of noble character" : to speak with integrity, be worthy of respect, love unconditionally, not be slanderous, encourage one another (yes it includes complementing another woman and genuinely meaning it)  Let your talk benefit those who listen, be wise and pass on the wisdom to the next generation and be able to say no to ungodliness.
 I mean, I hardly know any woman that upholds these standards. When I measured myself using this pedestal I fell really short, but that does not mean I will be disrespected. I'ts a double standard really. Men will be respected whether or not they uphold the standard, but not women. Women will be judged by how you walk, talk, behave, look or not look, its physically, psychologically, emotionally and generally draining. I'ts a constant battle. With the whole world waiting for the slightest excuse to judge or get an excuse to disrespect women. Some women really do call for disrespect through their actions or whatever but this should not be the common norm.
Am not saying this justifies the disrespect we get from some Men, but I think it would explain a lot. 
Think about it, some girls have spoiled it for the rest of us making guys think it doesn't matter if he's dating someone we will date them anyway, it doesn't matter how he treats us we shall tolerate it, I don't know if it's from desperation or lack of self esteem, or both really. I cannot begin to fathom .
I guess that's why he seemed confused when I said to him I will not tolerate any person who disrespects me like that, and he went on to ask me how he had disrespected me. Ya he really did ask me that, he hadn't even realized the wrong he has done, that's how much a part of his life it is, it comes naturally. 
I chose to see this as a cry for someone who needed saving so I took it upon myself to explain to him how he had disrespected me, to which he added "I didn't realize that, that's how I talk to women, I  guess am just used to treating women like that and they don't complain, but I'll try to be different with you" and there I was thinking to myself, "listen to this rubbish" What women have you been dating? I asked him and he thought I was being a bitch. Well I would rather be a bitch than be reduced to a woman with no standards. Besides, you don't disrespect me and think I will stay still and do nothing, NO. not me. You will get whats coming to you.
 I actually found myself feeling sorry for his supposed girlfriend because she has some serious workload on her plate. 
It shouldn't be like that though, no one should take you for granted, regardless of the circumstances, or the reason or mentality. If someone disrespects you, call them out on that nonsense. Woman or not, you should be respected, don't compromise or settle for less, don't let anyone reduce you to anything less. Know your worth, and treat yourself like you are worth it and more . Every woman Should be respected. Period.

AddThis