Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Say hello to goodbye

2014 started on a crazy note and sadly on a low note. So crazy that I was sure it was going to be my worst year ever!!! Boy was I in for a surprise. I wont lie, this year has been crazy hectic. I have had to make a lot of tough decisions, I have lost some friends, some due to tragedies but some due to misunderstandings.

My circle has grown tremendously slow in 2014 mainly because I have grown up. I have learnt that its better to have a small loyal circle than have a crowd full of hypocrites. The struggles I went through made me stronger and wiser, I have gained clarity and gotten perspective. If someone had told me last year on this day that my life would be like this now, I never would have believed them.

But thank God for He makes all things work together for those who love him. I can proudly say I have been blessed in all aspects of my life, emotionally, physically, psychologically. He turned my mourning into dancing, turned my ashes to beauty, filled my cup and its overflowing.

As the year draws to a close, everything comes into perspective, so I would like to take a moment to apologize to those who I have wronged, I'm sorry. Do bear with my imperfections as I continue to grow from my flaws. To those that stayed with me through the hardships, I'm humbled by your unconditional love. To those that contributed to my low moments, I forgive you because I understand that you were all part of  God's plan to get me to where I needed to be. To those that contributed to the realization of my dreams, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! I celebrate you all, because I wouldn't be the person I am today, without all your input.
The year ahead makes me a bit scared, because I know that I have big shoes to fill, more responsibilities to take on and a world full of uncertainty to step into, But I know that whatever happens, I will be okay regardless, because In the end everything will work out as it should.
 Goodbye 2014... Hello 2015. I'M READY!!!!

Thursday, 18 December 2014

My Blessing in Disguise

A little over a year ago, I found myself between a rock and a hard place, 2013 was the most difficult and trying year of my life. So trying that when I look back I can't believe I made it through alive and into 2014 because there was a time when I just didn't want to deal with the world. The icing on the cake came when I got a transfer at work that I wasn't too excited about because I thought it was taking me away from my desired career path. I remember trying so hard to resist it, but after going back and forth about it, and talking to my parents, I decided to take the leap of faith and see what the waters had for me. 

Settling in, was difficult. I wont lie. Even with my determination to make lemonade with the "lemons" life had thrown at me, it was outright difficult. So, I prayed about it, and decided to give my every last bit of energy to this new career path and see what it has to offer. A year later: NO REGRETS!!!! I recently got promoted at work, about four days ago to be exact and i'll tell you that had I stayed, this promotion would've come in ten years, but God saw me make lemonade with my lemons and He decided to add some sugar to it.

 Sometimes life throws us off track and we feel like we just jumped off a cliff and have no idea what's gonna happen after, believe me I have been through all the "why mes?" the" this wasn't supposed to happen like this", and I have learnt that God's plan is definitely the way to go. Especially in times of uncertainty. And lets face it, life is full of uncertainties. But sometimes we forget that God promised to make all things work for the good of those who love the Lord. Yes, ALL THINGS!!!! even the nasty. I have grown so much in the one year I have been in this new environment and I'm more than honored to be given the new opportunity to grow and blossom. This new position comes with a lot of responsibility but "to whom much is given, much is expected" and so I'm a little scared because I honestly wasn't ready or prepared. I'm still trying to fit in this new chair, and adjust to working with all these highly qualified professionals. I'm sure its going to be an interesting journey as I have so much to learn, which means I have more room to grow and although I'm scared, I am not worried because I trust in the will of God. 

We have all heard the saying "The will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God can not keep you" Easier said than done. My prayer every morning since I got this position has been that God sends me His grace to keep me and wisdom to guide me. Forgive this post for being all over the place, I just wanted to say that sometimes life knocks you down, and throws lemons at you, but if you dust yourself, and get back up, make some lemonade with those lemons, God will bring you sugar for an added taste. So don't dwell too much on what's going wrong, focus on how you can make the wrong work for you. 

I haven't figured out life yet, but this year has been so good to me, and it has taught me that when you let go and let God, He really does come though in the end. His will is definitely the way to go!!! It's only a matter of time, so just be patient

Friday, 12 December 2014

On a Solo date? Sorry!!

So, the other day, I was having lunch at Tamarai by myself, well because it was a working day I was unable to find a "date" on short notice. I had been ill all week and when I finally got out of Hospital and smelt the fresh breeze i decided to give myself a treat and because I love the teas at Tamarai, It was the perfect place for me to chill on this hot Friday afternoon. As I was enjoying my delicious hot and spicy chicken wings, I saw a familiar face walk by, he stopped to say hello and asked if I was meeting someone there. To his surprise, I wasn't. But that's not the point of this post, when he found out that I was having lunch by my self, his response was "Bambi". Loosely translated as "oh dear" or "poor you". I gave him a warm smile and simple laugh and continued to indulge in this delicacy.

 As he walked away, I started to wonder, why do people think its pitiful if you go on a solo date? Does he think that I live a lonely and unhappy life because I choose to sit here and eat by myself? I have to admit, I was a bit offended, and here's why:
I live a very fulfilling life, probably more fulfilling than his. So much so that I don't really need people around me all the time to rectify my existence. I love me some me time, and anybody close to me will testify to how much I love my space. It has always puzzled my friends  how it is that I can go to a restaurant, by myself, order food, eat by my self, and live. But here's the thing, I like food, scratch that I LOVE FOOD!!!! So much so that I don't need a date to enjoy my meal. Sometimes I just want a good meal, and my friends aren't available or don't feel like eating because they are watching their weight, a problem I don't have. 

Sometimes I just cant even be bothered to call them because its an instant craving so I just drive out to whatever place I feel like eating, order my food, eat it in peace, without having someone poke at it, or try to taste it, instead of ordering their own, Yes I'm selfish like that. Actually that has to be my biggest pet peeve. People poking at my food, I would rather get you a whole new plate, than have you poke at my food. I rather find that much as I love company, I also like to enjoy my meals in peace. So my eating alone, or being on a "solo date" doesn't warrant your sympathy. It just simply means I wanted to eat alone.

Makes me wonder how many people out there are afraid of eating alone, because they don't want to feel alone. Just because you are surrounded by people doesn't mean you aren't lonely, just like being alone doesn't make you lonely. I've had the loneliest moments while surrounded by crowds of people and questioned my goals or purpose in life or purpose for being in the presence of these people, and I've had life changing decisions made while sitting by myself, because my mind was finally cleared of clutter and could now reason clearly. My point being, don't judge people based on what it looks like. There is nothing sorry about my life. I'm happier than I have been in years, and sitting by myself at a restaurant will not change that. Actually, sitting alone is what makes me happy. That I can afford that meal, is even a blessing on its own. So, the next time you see my sitting alone, just smile and wave, and wish me a Bon apetit, don't feel sorry for me, or that other person by themselves in the restaurant.
With Love